Pirates with Charlie

Today Charlie told me it was time to go outside and play pirates on the playground. Hmmm.  I thought it was time to clean our extremely messy house before my mother-in-law arrived.  I know she doesn't care, but still.  "No," Charlie insisted.  So I told him that I had to clean, but first I had time to play pirates.  "That deserves a kiss," he told me.  And he pulled my head down so he could reach my cheek.

 So we went outside to play, and I was willing to take on the loathe roll of pirate captain.  But after I said, "Arrr" a couple of times, Charlie told me we were nice pirates, and I should talk like he was talking. "You know, normal."  So then I said I spotted another pirate ship of mean pirates ahead and that we'd have to fight them.  He told me (rather nervously) that I was wrong.  There was only one ship out today.  Then he told me he was actually my pirate pet, Max, and he spent most of the time fetching squid in the ocean and bringing them back to cook in the ship's oven, and I would give him sea biscuits for his troubles.  After a while of this, he informed me that what I thought was a dog was really a human pretending to be a dog. So then my pirate first mate, Max, and I went for a swim.  When I told him a shark had bit my leg, and I needed bandages, he told me, "No, it's just scratch."  When I told him I thought it was infected, he just looked at me like I was pathetic, and said, "No, it's not."  So much for the intense pirate play-dramas.  Charlie has truly found the joy in the peaceful pirate life.