If you're doing one thing, you're not doing something else

It seems obvious, but this is the truth that hit me over the head recently as I watched three kids in one room busy on three different screens. When I told them to turn them off, the whining and "but Mom's" were disproportionately angry and forceful. I thought to myself, "What's wrong with this picture?" I feel like we've been careful about what options our kids choose. They play games on PBS kids on the computer, or they play the sporty games on the wii, or Colin has this little learning laptop. Still, three kids in a room absorbed in three different worlds, instead of three kids doing a million other things that kids (and kids lucky enough to live in Hawaii, no less) could be doing. But when you're doing one thing, you're not doing something else. In this case, our kids are doing good things, but screen time is robbing them of interacting with each other or friends . . . of going outside and playing with the neighbors . . . of creating something or pretending something . . . of being a kids. I'm the one that is giving my kids these good choices, but I am convinced that there is more to life than screen time (though here I am typing away to my imaginary audience. . . are there real people out there?!!!!).

Dan and I did some reading . . . mostly a talk by a church leader, Elder David A Bednar, about how addictive and limiting these virtual worlds are. For now, we're leaving them behind. Our kids, especially Sam and Colin, had gotten so absorbed in some of these wii games and computer games. That's the first thing they would go to if they had spare time. It was the first and easiest answer to the question, "What should I do right now?" So we need to de-prioritize TV and computer games for a while. I didn't plan on being conservative and controlling, but in some ways, I'm trying to be liberal and embracing of the REAL world. We'll bring the TV and games back eventually, on a small scale, because it's part of life, and kids need to learn to deal with that . . . but at this point, I have found that the replacements for screen time are very much worth the sacrifice. Dan and I get to the end of a day and go over all the things that happened because our boys didn't play computer. Here are some of the benefits:

1. Sam likes Colin (!!!!!!) He actually said he'd rather do things WITH Colin than without.
2. They are making friends with kids in the neighborhood
3. They are building and creating with leggos
4. They build forts
5. I play trains with Charlie
6. Charlie sleeps better when he's not taking a "movie rest"
7. They are planning a tree house
8. They play kickball
9. They don't get in trouble for talking back when I say it's time to turn off the TV
10. We play games as a family after dinner
11. We ride bikes and go on walks
12. Jane reads books
13. The kids play nightgames

So this is not all in one day, and my kids still fight and get in trouble about OTHER things, but we're taking some small steps. The great thing is that I feel like we have evicted three annoying people from constantly noising-up our living room. Plus, I think I need to feel like an engaged parent, too. When did I forget how to play with my kids? It must have been while they were watching TV. Does anyone else feel like they're in a war with the world of screens? And will someone come over and tell me to get off the computer now?