Today, on Day 4 of single-parenting while Dan is in Cleveland at a conference, Sam packed his bags and walked out the door. If you have an ounce of sympathy in your bones, please post and tell me that your children have done the same. I admit to some major moments of parental failure in the past four days (well, 12 years), but I really didn't think it was going THAT badly. For Sam, the major issue was getting his jobs done. The minute he gets his assigned jobs, he falls to the floor and starts moaning. The weight of it all is too much for him. So I was very patient, cut him lots of slack, left him alone, teased him, tickled him, promised to help him, and put a timer on him (he likes racing). We were trudging through the morning, but making progress. I had only pulled out a couple of threats or ultimatums, so it seemed like a great success to me. But his last job was sweeping off the porch, and that was too much. He packed his clothes in his backpack and left. His bike was broken. He took off on Charlie's little bike. Sam against the world with his knees bent in wide angles out from the Aniken Skywalker bike.
I was 2 cm worried about him and 50 yards angry. In my mind, I was devising punishments that would make him never EVER want to try a stunt like this again. He was triple grounded and destined to work from dawn to dusk...at least in my mind.
He came home after about an hour. He was still being tough and stubborn, but I couldn't take him to task. It was enough. He needed a way out. So I just started talking and after a while, he started talking. We worked it out. That afternoon, Sam bought Charlie a treat at Foodland, he was cheerful about coming to the beach (he'd been refusing before), he led the way on adventures in shell-collecting, he said the blessing on the food, he cleared his plate, he wanted to have a sleepover in Jane's room, and he was ok with changing the movie for Charlie.
5 comments:
It happens to us all. Jake didn't have bags packed, but he walked out the door telling me he was "going to find a new family" and minutes later came back saying Abby would miss him too much so he decided not to leave. And you KNOW that Abby wants us to move right into your house, so lets just say you are doing an awesome job at parenting :)
I can't tell you much about runaways, but I could write volumes about single parent fiascos. My best advice is simply to blame whatever goes wrong on the spouse that isn't home. It helps a lot, especially in matters of parental esteem. To his credit, Cole has learned to take blame really well. Thanks for the post. Actually, I think you handled things remarkably well.
Maddie was a regular run-away threatener, but she would quickly lose steam when I asked her how she was going to get to the Lundbergs (her dream family of joy). Parenting is hard, huh? I love the image of him riding away on his bike. What did he do during that hour he was away?
Asi has walked out, bags packed. Don't worry! You're a GREAT mom. (They always come back when they're hungry.) :)
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