If I end up in hell, there will be a waiting room and an eye chart with all sizes of letters and an appointment of never-ending stages of torture. And holograms of my children will be there wanting me to do impossible things for them at the same time. And that was my experience today. To get to the eye doctor, we have to drive over and hour to get to Honolulu and through traffic to the office. So Charlie and Colin were well-spent, but simultaneously well-fueled with in-the-car snacks before we ever stepped foot in the office. And then, it's a long, multi-step process that seems truly interminable. Check-in. . . wait . . . nurse exam . . . wait . . . Dr.'s preliminary exam . . . wait . . . eye drops and dilation . . . wait 45 minutes in a room with two kids who can barely see . . . Dr.'s exam . . . perscriptions . . . appointments. The highlights were these:
(1) Sam in the waiting room groaning loudly and dramatically because one eye was still stinging, while nothing would persuade him to go back for another set of "gentle" drops.
(2) Colin using his treasure from the treasure box to shoot everyone, his voice at full volume.
(3) Charlie sneaking over to the patient's chair every few minutes to push a button and adjust the chair in some way (then I had to figure out which button he had pushed to un-do his adjustments).
(4) Charlie out in the hallway after I gave up on trying to get him to be quiet for Jane's exam, playing "what does the animal say?" (This was really cute. I love hearing Charlie's little voice making these sounds . . . though I don't know if the other patients up and down the hall appreciated it as much as I did).
(5) Finally leaving the office and getting all the way out to the parking garage, only to find that I'd left my cell phone in the office . . . . hauling everyone back in, only to find that I was wrong and my phone was in my purse the whole time. Argh! Has anyone else found themselves totally undone by a trip to the Dr.'s office?
6 comments:
That is hilarious. And sad at the same time. I wish we could all have just met for lunch after that ordeal (provided your wallet was in your purse with your cell phone). Nobody has such entertaining and exasperating doctor visits as you. The only thing that could have made this better was if your doctor's visit was merely a stop on the way to Costco. (Please say it wasn't).
No. But it did turn out being a stop on the way to McDonald's. I had told my kids at least three times, "No, we're NOT going to McDonalds, even if you are good." But then Colin was car sick and we needed to stop, it was dinner time (the trip that started at 12:30 was still not over at 6 p.m.), Charlie was crying, "home! home!" and yada yada yada. Then I told them they could only get hamburgers, not kids meals. Whatever. It was all out the window when we got in the restaurant.
Hee hee, ha ha. So been there, but with not as many children. So I guess I haven't been there. But I know I don't want to go there! Totally have done the phone thing...only mine involved drivng all the way to mom's house. I love your kids. They are hilarious. Can't wait for the mahem in the summer.
Frustrating times indeed. At least you documented some of the details, right?!
I always knew a relative of mine would show up on the screen. GO YOU!
p.s. one of our top 5 choices is to live on the ARMY base in Honolulu- cross your fingers we end up there while you are there too!
I will keep all my fingers AND my toes crossed. I'd love to have you here!
Had I been a patient in the waiting room, I would have loved to hear Charlie's animal sounds and would have done my best to exude compassion at your situation. I feel extremely grateful now that my eye doctor is 5 minutes away. We all spent some time there last week and it was remarkably uneventful!
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